I don't believe in fate. I don't think our lives are predetermined. Our choices make our lives what they are. But I don't believe in coincidences either. I believe everything happens for a reason. The choices we make determine the course of our lives and synchronicity pulls events and people into our lives that reflect those choices.
Because I believe in reincarnation, I believe your choices begin with the choice of being born. With that choice you accept all the consequences of life, including eventually death. You also choose your parents and everything that goes along with them. Everyone says you don't choose your family, but you do. Everything after that is a result of your other choices.
For me this belief affects all parts of my life. I don't complain about my bad relationships with the rest of my family. I chose them. I think the reason I chose to be born to christian fundamentalist cultists was so that I would reject their madness and begin my path as a pagan and eventually discover my calling as a shaman. Bad things don't happen to me without being allowed into my life by my own choices. That means I am responsible for everything that happens to me. It also means that if I don't like something, I have the power to change it by changing my choices. Every time I talked to my parents we fought over my choice of spirituality. So I made a different choice and now we don't talk at all.
A long time ago I read a book that had a very strong influence on this belief, "The Celestine Prophecy". If you haven't read it, I highly recommend it.